Let’s face it: talking about erectile dysfunction (ED) before getting intimate isn’t exactly the easiest conversation. But when is the right time to bring it up? In a recent column, an older man shared his dilemma: He still wants connection and pleasure, but ED medications don’t work for him. He worries that disclosing his condition upfront might ruin the mood—or worse, lead to judgment or ridicule.

So, should he share this before things heat up? Experts suggest honesty is key, but timing matters. It’s not a first-date conversation, nor should it be dropped right before climbing into bed. The sweet spot is when intimacy feels imminent but before expectations are set. Think of it as offering an alternative menu of pleasure, rather than apologizing for what’s missing. Some partners might miss the traditional options, but others could be open to exploring something new—and even find it more enjoyable.

The bigger question here is about respect. If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you want to know? And if word does get around, it might just be for the right reasons—highlighting creativity and care rather than limitations.

In the end, it’s about finding the balance between openness and confidence. After all, pleasure isn’t just one thing—it’s a whole spectrum waiting to be explored.